ATTENTION – CERTAINS PROPOS PEUVENT CHOQUER LES PLUS JEUNES D’ENTRE VOUS. VOUS VOILA PRÉVENUS !
Depuis maintenant plus d’un an, un fléau s’est abattu sur Gameblog. Un fléau d’une telle violence que la folie s’empara totalement de la communauté et causa une guerre thermo nucléaire sur l’interwoueb moderne en Juillet 2012. Après de nombreuses pertes, la paix revint et la vie reprit son cours. Mais le 06 Janvier 2013, le chaos refit surface… plus fort que jamais. L’origine du monde (et peut être même de l’Univers) fut révélée aux yeux de tous et causa la mort de nombreux blogueurs. Certains survécurent par miracle et préférèrent quitter la planète Gameblog, tant qu’il en était écore temps, pour aller se réfugier en lieu sur. Au cours de leur voyage, ils découvrirent une nouvelle planète qui semblait habitable et hospitalière. Son nom : GameurZ.fr. Ils firent leurs colonies à cet endroit en espérant de tout coeur que ce fléau que l’on nommait Watdafuck ne les poursuivrait pas jusqu’ici.
Et si t’as, raté les autres Watdafuck, pas d’inquiétude jeune internaute. De nombreuses archives ont été conservées sur GameurZ.fr. Il te suffit donc de cliquer ici pour y avoir accès.
Comme beaucoup d’entre vous, j’ai joué au dernier Tomb Raider et j’ai apprécié ce jeu. Peut être pas au même point que Tétris mais dans l’ensemble, ce reste un bon jeu d’action aventure. Cependant, je suis sûrement le seul d’entre vous à avoir remarqué certaines choses qui m’ont légèrement dérangées. Et c’est pourquoi je vais partager tout cela avec vous, afin que vous sachiez toute la vérité sur le titre de Crystal Dynamics. Plus jamais vous ne verrez Tomb Raider et Lara Croft de la même manière…
La première chose qui m’a troublée, ce fut de voir la jeune Lara, toute frêle, encore innocente et totalement pure devenir peu à peu au fur et à mesure du jeu une tueuse aguerrie. Bon peut être que d’un côté, c’est logique, vu ce que la pauvre traverse au cours du jeu… mais quand même. Quelque chose n’était pas logique. Et je m’en suis rendu compte lorsqu’un des ennemis morts… ne l’était pas vraiment.
J’ai donc appris de la bouche de Raymond, notre survivant, qu’il n’était qu’un acteur comme tous ceux présents sur cette île. Apparemment Lara aurait eu une lubie un jour et a décidé de devenir une héroïne de jeux vidéo. Tout ceci aurait été donc une énorme simulation pour lui permettre d’atteindre son rêve. Mais pourquoi ? Qui a planifié tout ça ? Et comment ? C’est ce que j’ai essayé de savoir avec mon équipe (mon ornithorynque et Kyu si vous suivez mes aventures).
Je pensais aussi qu’à la base Tomb Raider était un jeu d’action aventure mais que nenni ! S’il y a un Pegi18 sur la boîte ce n’est pas pour sa violence ou certains séquences un peu choquantes mais bel et bien parce qu’il s’agit d’un hentai caché. La preuve.
En tout cas, si ce n’est pas vraiment le cas, c’est tout ce que j’ai retenu de ce titre…
J’ai appris un peu plus tard qu’il s’agissait d’exercices pratiques que lui avait donné son professeur de « Fan Service », un cours très important lorsque l’on souhaite devenir héroïne de jeux vidéo. Et puis soudain, tout m’est revenu en tête… J’avais été son professeur (oui j’étudiais le vol grâce à l’hélicobite ou l’hélicoboobs mais peu de gens étaient destinés à ce type de déplacement et du coup ma section a été supprimée) et même bien plus que ça. J’ai mis un certain temps à m’en rendre compte, d’une part car ce n’est pas la première élève avec qui j’ai eu une relation (Samus Aran et Faith pourront vous le confirmer) et d’autre part car avec ma vie totalement overbookée c’est dur de se souvenir de ce qu’on a pu faire. Mais tout est revenu quand Lara a craqué en plein milieu de sa mission.
Quelle jolie image avec une grosse métaphore phallique quand même…
Et comme tout m’est revenu en tête, je me suis rappelé de ce qu’elle m’avait confié un soir sur l’oreiller. A la base, elle n’était pas une aventurière ni une archéologue et RIEN, je précise bien sur le rien, ne la prédestinait à une telle carrière. Surtout vu comment elle était conne quand on s’est connu. Elle avait fait quelques apparitions dans Léa Passion Cuisine et Léa Passion Ménage mais sa carrière ne se serait jamais lancée après de tels stages. Alors qu’elle allait entamer un énième stage pour Léa Passion Machine à laver, elle me confia qu’elle aspirait à un plus grand avenir, remplis de tombeaux, de trésors et d’aventure. Elle me demanda, en tout bien tout honneur et sans m’avoir influencé sexuellement avant, si je pouvais la recommander pour le cursus Action & Aventure qui était il faut le dire très select à l’époque. Elle avait l’air sincère, du coup je lui ai dit que si elle me ramenait un scoop tellement énorme que le monde en tremblerait, alors oui, je ferai tout pour qu’elle arrive à réaliser son rêve.
C’est ainsi qu’elle est devenue une sorte d’espionne et qu’elle a découvert un énorme trafic dans une entreprise très prisée. Voici d’ailleurs ce qu’elle a découvert.
Cette histoire fit le tour du monde et je me suis un peu retrouvé comme un con lorsqu’elle est revenue vers moi avec toutes ses preuves. Grâce à cette toute première mission, elle avait acquis beaucoup d’assurance et une volonté de fer. Et rien ne pouvait la faire changer d’avis. Elle voulait être une femme forte, une héroïne de jeux vidéo et être reconnue comme telle. C’est pourquoi je l’ai conseillé au Docteur Whitman, avant de me rappeler que ce vieux schnock était un incapable fini.
Une fois ses études terminées et obtenu son doctorat en Jeux vidéo mention TB (T’es Baune), je lui ai rappelé de s’entraîner régulièrement ainsi que de se trouver un air et une allure de héros. Et d’après les photos que m’a ramené S.O.P. (même si j’ai été un peu déçu en découvrant les clichés), la petite Lara Croft a bien suivi mes conseils et était devenu une vraie femme pleine de charme et de caractère. Une nana badass quoi, celle qui plait au public.
Mais il restait encore une chose pour qu’elle devienne l’aventurière que l’on connait. Il fallait qu’elle soit une véritable héroïne, qu’elle connaisse la psychologie d’un héros, qu’elle soit mise en situation réelle pour se rendre compte que ce milieu est impitoyable et sans merci. C’est ainsi que je lui avais concocté une mission qui allait faire d’elle, la plus grande héroïne du monde du jeu vidéo. Enfin la plus grande… l’une des plus grandes. Les autres vont être jalouses sinon…
ATTENTION A TOI JEUNE LECTEUR (ET MOINS JEUNE), SI TU N’AS PAS ENCORE JOUÉ A TOMB RAIDER, TU T’EXPOSES A DE GRAVES SPOILS !
FUIS PENDANT QU’IL EST ENCORE TEMPS
JE T’AURAI PREVENU !
/ !\ SPOIL / !\
Et c’est ainsi que Lara devint Lara Croft. La prochaine fois, je vous raconterai pourquoi Mario a abandonné son job de plombier pour partir sauver une cruche enlevée régulièrement par une tortue mutante de Tchernobyl !
Bonus Stage :
Thank you for another informative blog. Where else could I get that kind of information written in such an ideal way? I’ve a project that I am just now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such information.
Hello! I just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you have here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for more soon.
Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look complex to far introduced agreeable from you! However, how can we keep in touch?
You got a very great website, Sword lily I observed it through yahoo.
Howdy I am so delighted I found your web site, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Google for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a remarkable post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic job.
Very efficiently written article. It will be valuable to everyone who employess it, including yours truly :). Keep up the good work – i will definitely read more posts.
I like this website so much, bookmarked.
I was suggested this website by means of my cousin. I am no longer certain whether or not this post is written by him as nobody else recognize such unique approximately my trouble. You are incredible! Thanks!
It’s really a great and helpful piece of info. I am glad that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Замена российских, беларусских, украинских прав на польские. После обмена водительского удостоверения на Польские они заносятся в базу ЕС и вы без проблем сможете их обменять на водительское удостоверение любой страны ЕС, либо можете обменивать права в Польше по истечении срока действия(условия обмена польских прав с заканчивающимся сроком действия на польские это медкомиссия и заявление на обмен) срок месяц.
Greetings! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!
I appreciate, cause I found exactly what I was looking for. You’ve ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
of course like your web site but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth nevertheless I will surely come back again.
I have recently started a site, the information you offer on this web site has helped me greatly. Thanks for all of your time & work. « Yield not to evils, but attack all the more boldly. » by Virgil.
Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything. But imagine if you added some great images or videos to give your posts more, « pop »! Your content is excellent but with images and clips, this website could undeniably be one of the greatest in its niche. Superb blog!
I’ve been browsing on-line greater than 3 hours as of late, yet I never discovered any interesting article like yours. It?¦s beautiful worth sufficient for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the net will probably be a lot more helpful than ever before.
Respect to op, some good entropy.
There are some interesting cut-off dates in this article but I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There is some validity but I’ll take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish extra! Added to FeedBurner as effectively
Fantastic website. Lots of useful information here. I am sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious. And naturally, thank you on your sweat!
Regards for this post, I am a big big fan of this internet site would like to continue updated.
Thank you for sharing superb informations. Your site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you¦ve on this web site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched all over the place and just couldn’t come across. What a perfect web site.
An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!
You are my aspiration, I possess few blogs and rarely run out from post :). « Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner. » by W. Somerset Maugham.
Thank you a lot for providing individuals with a very special chance to read articles and blog posts from this blog. It’s usually so pleasurable and also full of a great time for me and my office acquaintances to visit your site the equivalent of 3 times weekly to read the latest issues you have got. And definitely, I am just at all times fascinated with all the dazzling creative concepts you serve. Selected two tips in this post are ultimately the most beneficial we have had.
I cling on to listening to the newscast speak about getting free online grant applications so I have been looking around for the top site to get one. Could you advise me please, where could i find some?
Great line up. We will be linking to this great article on our site. Keep up the good writing.
You have observed very interesting details! ps decent website.
Needed to compose you a very small word to give many thanks the moment again for all the striking ideas you have shared at this time. It’s quite wonderfully generous with you to present openly all that a number of people could have offered as an e book in making some money for their own end, specifically considering that you could possibly have tried it in the event you desired. The suggestions additionally worked like a easy way to recognize that some people have a similar interest just like my own to learn great deal more with regards to this problem. I know there are some more pleasurable times up front for folks who go through your website.
he blog was how do i say it… relevant, finally something that helped me. Thanks
I?¦ve been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts in this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site. Studying this information So i am happy to exhibit that I have a very excellent uncanny feeling I came upon just what I needed. I such a lot undoubtedly will make certain to do not forget this web site and provides it a look regularly.
Some genuinely nice stuff on this web site, I love it.
But wanna input that you have a very nice web site, I enjoy the style and design it really stands out.
Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa? My site addresses a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you are interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Wonderful blog by the way!
I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Exceptional work!
Good info. Lucky me I reach on your website by accident, I bookmarked it.
I like what you guys are up too. Such smart work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my site 🙂
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I’m very glad to see such magnificent information being shared freely out there.
Thanks for the marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you’re a great author.I will remember to bookmark your blog and may come back very soon. I want to encourage you to ultimately continue your great job, have a nice morning!
My spouse and I stumbled over here by a different website and thought I may as well check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to checking out your web page again.
Télécharger fonds d’écran pour le bureau libre. Photos gratuites fonds d’écran
I believe this internet site holds some real good info for everyone : D.
It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I want to read more things about it!
As a Newbie, I am continuously browsing online for articles that can be of assistance to me. Thank you
You are my aspiration, I possess few web logs and infrequently run out from post :). « To die for a religion is easier than to live it absolutely. » by Jorge Luis Borges.
Only wanna input on few general things, The website design and style is perfect, the content is real great : D.
wonderful post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of this sector don’t notice this. You must continue your writing. I am sure, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and extremely broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
Very interesting topic, thankyou for posting. « Remember when life’s path is steep to keep your mind even. » by Horace.
Just wish to say your article is as astounding. The clearness on your put up is just cool and that i could think you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to clutch your RSS feed to keep updated with coming near near post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.
I precisely desired to thank you very much all over again. I’m not certain what I would’ve taken care of without the type of ways documented by you relating to my problem. It was actually a hard concern in my view, however , understanding your specialised approach you dealt with it made me to cry with happiness. I’m happier for the advice and as well , wish you realize what a great job your are putting in instructing people by way of your webblog. Most probably you’ve never met any of us.
I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Exceptional work!
When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!
certainly like your website but you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very bothersome to tell the reality however I¦ll certainly come again again.
Hiya very nice site!! Man .. Beautiful .. Wonderful .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds additionallyKI am glad to seek out numerous useful info here within the submit, we want work out extra strategies in this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .
Definitely, what a great blog and informative posts, I definitely will bookmark your site.All the Best!
Undetectable антидетект браузер — это специальная программа, которая защищает вашу личность (сохраняет анонимность) в сети, изменяя информацию на вашем компьютере, такую как IP-адрес, отпечаток браузера, язык, шрифты и другие настройки. Вы можете управлять множеством аккаунтов и профилей с одного устройства и опасаясь за свою безопасность.
Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
I dugg some of you post as I thought they were handy very useful
This is a topic close to my heart cheers, where are your contact details though?
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself? Plz reply back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know wheere u got this from. thanks
very nice put up, i definitely love this web site, carry on it
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll certainly return.
I think this is among the most significant info for me. And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things, The web site style is ideal, the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers
Way cool, some valid points! I appreciate you making this article available, the rest of the site is also high quality. Have a fun.
Dans le monde en constante évolution des jeux en ligne, les plateformes iGaming se sont développées de manière exponentielle, offrant aux joueurs du monde entier un large éventail de jeux et de divertissements. En France, le secteur des jeux en ligne s’est considérablement développé ces dernières années, grâce à l’amélioration de la réglementation et à la demande croissante des consommateurs pour des jeux en ligne pratiques, sûrs et passionnants. L’une des plateformes qui attire l’attention est Bruno Casino, un nom relativement nouveau mais bien con sur la scène iGaming française. Cet article examine les principales caractéristiques des plateformes iGaming en France, en prenant Bruno Casino comme exemple pour démontrer comment ces plateformes sont conçues pour répondre aux besoins des joueurs tout en respectant le cadre réglementaire et en offrant une expérience de jeu compétitive et à la pointe de la technologie.
I am so happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that’s at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.
Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is great, let alone the content!
What i do not understood is if truth be told how you’re not actually much more neatly-liked than you may be right now. You’re very intelligent. You understand thus considerably in terms of this matter, made me in my opinion imagine it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be fascinated unless it’s something to do with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs excellent. Always maintain it up!
Dead indited subject matter, thank you for selective information. « Necessity is the mother of taking chances. » by Mark Twain.
Very interesting subject , thankyou for putting up.
We’re a group of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with valuable info to work on. You have performed an impressive task and our entire community shall be grateful to you.
What¦s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It positively useful and it has helped me out loads. I am hoping to contribute & aid different customers like its helped me. Great job.
I genuinely enjoy examining on this internet site, it contains wonderful articles. « Violence commands both literature and life, and violence is always crude and distorted. » by Ellen Glasgow.
Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your web site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you¦ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for more articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched all over the place and simply couldn’t come across. What a perfect website.
Normally I don’t read post on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to check out and do so! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thanks, very nice article.
I am no longer certain where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I must spend some time studying much more or understanding more. Thank you for excellent information I was searching for this info for my mission.
I like this internet site because so much utile material on here : D.
Great line up. We will be linking to this great article on our site. Keep up the good writing.
Whats up very cool blog!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Superb .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds additionally…I am satisfied to seek out a lot of useful information right here within the post, we want develop more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing.
Plongez dans les meilleurs jeux en ligne sur Playgama! Jouez, gagnez et obtenez des récompenses réelles — sans blague! Commencez votre aventure maintenant sur ordinateur, mobile ou même sur cette tablette que vous avez oubliée!
You made some nice points there. I looked on the internet for the topic and found most individuals will agree with your blog.
Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across. It extremely helps make reading your blog significantly easier.
I feel that is one of the such a lot important info for me. And i am happy studying your article. However wanna observation on some general issues, The website style is ideal, the articles is actually great : D. Just right job, cheers
I wish to show my appreciation to this writer just for bailing me out of this matter. Just after scouting through the the web and meeting basics which are not helpful, I figured my entire life was well over. Being alive without the presence of solutions to the issues you have sorted out by means of your main short article is a serious case, as well as the kind that might have negatively damaged my career if I had not discovered the blog. Your own personal competence and kindness in maneuvering all the details was useful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a solution like this. I can also at this moment relish my future. Thanks for your time very much for the impressive and result oriented guide. I will not think twice to endorse your web blog to any individual who requires support on this area.
hi!,I really like your writing so a lot! share we keep up a correspondence extra approximately your post on AOL? I need an expert on this space to solve my problem. Maybe that’s you! Having a look ahead to look you.
Terrific post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Kudos!
Hello. magnificent job. I did not anticipate this. This is a remarkable story. Thanks!
very good submit, i certainly love this website, carry on it
Good ?V I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task..
Enjoyed reading this, very good stuff, thankyou.
Greetings! Very helpful advice on this article! It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I?¦ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my web site 🙂
I truly appreciate this post. I’ve been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thx again
Thank you for sharing with us, I conceive this website genuinely stands out : D.
Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.
Great line up. We will be linking to this great article on our site. Keep up the good writing.
It is in point of fact a nice and useful piece of information. I¦m glad that you just shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
You have observed very interesting points! ps nice internet site.